More Than One Way to an Heir
by Clinically Insane
Summary: (AI) Seras screws up-BIG SURPRISE-as a result IntegraAlucard have a few drinks in her officeit all goes down hill from there: Warning first Hellsing fic feel free to correct me if something is a ryeEnjoy!
1. Surfs Up!

Chapter 1: Surfs Up!  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing.  
  
The night had been an absolute disaster from the moment Victoria had woken up-she was still tired.  
  
There on the table chilling in a sliver bucket of ice was a packet of blood. Victoria went through her ceremonial routine of pouring the afore mentioned blood into the bowl provided, stirring it idly for a few minutes with a silver spoon which had been placed beside the bowl and then ceremonially wishing it "bon voyage' as she flushed it down the toilet.  
  
Then of course when she headed out of her room she opened the door and plowed right into Placard's chest. As usual her master proceeded to give her a telepathic lecture on how she had to eat if she wanted to function properly during which she could barely keep her eyes open, until they reached the main hall. There Alucard left her to walk up to Integra's office alone, while he made his usual entrance through the wall; she never noticed how many stairs there were.  
  
As Victoria walked up the stairs she passed Walter who seemed nothing less than shaken, this meant only one thing-Integra was in one of her moods. She just hoped Walter had managed to disarm Integra, if there was one thing she was afraid of it was her master's master open firing and her not getting out of the way in time.  
  
-------------  
  
In her office Integra was staring at the portrait of her father as she leaned against the front of her desk smoking a cigar-  
  
"I know, I know," she thought as she looked into the eyes of the painting, "I still owe you an heir, if you only knew how time consuming caring for two vampires is-"  
  
"Then you would know how well my master spins stories," said Alucard as he walked out of the wall and turned to the portrait.  
  
"What have I told you about reading my thoughts?!" asked Integra in a dangerous tone.  
  
"Good evening, Master," said Alucard in his usual manner.  
  
Integra was about to give Alucard a lecture with the aid of many four letter words when there came a knock at the door, "Come in,"  
  
Victoria opened the door cautiously and peered in-  
  
Integra rolled her eyes, "I have the safety on!"  
  
Alucard just laughed at his fledging as she came into the room, but stuck close to the door.  
  
Integra picked up a folder from her desk, "We received word of a disturbance at a grocery store."  
  
"Excuse me-" Seras wasn't sure she heard that right.  
  
"Apparently a small coven of vampires has been using the deli meat locker to store corpses and use them for some type of ritual. The soldiers are waiting outside-enter the building with extreme caution, Father Anderson was spotted on the premises as well- Oh, and Victoria-"  
  
"Yes?" asked the little vampire.  
  
"Let's see if we can't keep this Captain in tact-Dismissed!"  
  
THUD-Victoria walked into the door.  
  
Integra and Alucard exchanged glances, but didn't say anything  
  
-------------  
  
When they arrived on the scene Father Anderson had taken out all the vampires all that was left to clean up were the mindless zombies.  
  
So while Alucard and Father Anderson were attempting to put an end to each other the new captain sent Victoria into the supermarket to dispose of all the zombies. There was just one problem-Victoria was so exhausted she could barely see straight, but despite her better judgment.  
  
Before long she spotted a bogie at the back door, she thought she aimed her gun at the zombie's head. But when she fired her shot soared above their mark and took out three shelves of glass Perrie water bottles sending an imported title wave down isle 6, which just happened to be home to 20,000 packets of Alka-Seltzer. Victoria was swept to the front of the store and down the express checkout lane.  
  
She was so disoriented at that point she tried to pull herself up on the nearest object-a lobster tank. Needless to say she only succeeded at tipping it over on herself.  
  
By the time she staggered out of the store she was still fizzing, a lobster was clinging to her hair and her gun was no where to be see.  
  
Alucard and Father Anderson had to stop fighting because they were laughing so hard.  
  
"Well I'm glad you think this is so DAMN funny, Alucard!" yelled Integra, "because I blame you. When we get back to the manor I'm going to chain you in the dungeon for a month!" Then she turned her attention towards Seras, "And what do you have to say for yourself?!"  
  
Seras just looked at her blankly for a few seconds before keeling over- THUD!  
  
-------------  
  
When she woke up she was back in her room at Hellsing Manor and had a splitting headache. Walter was sitting off to the side in a wooden kitchen chair holding a bowl of blood.  
  
"Glad you finally decided to wake up, Miss Victoria. Now how about something to eat?" asked Walter.  
  
After a half-hour of trying to get Seras to eat he finally gave up and left.  
  
Victoria had had enough, she got up and went to go look for some extra strength aspirin. But once again when she opened the door she plowed into her master's chest only this time he wasn't wearing his sunglasses or hat. Alucard picked her up and put her back down on the bed.  
  
"Now what have we learned tonight?" he asked picking up the bowl of blood, "That we should obey our master in the future?"  
  
He held put a spoon of blood for her.  
  
Seras turned away.  
  
"Do not test me Police Girl-I hate playing nursemaid to a fledging who has barely grown into her fangs yet," he warned.  
  
"But master, I-" before Seras knew what happened Alucard shoved the spoon into her mouth.  
  
She started to gag.  
  
"Swallow!" he commanded.  
  
Victoria was barely able to override her gag reflex long enough to gulp the first mouthful down.  
  
"Thank you, Master, I feel a whole lot-" Alucard shoved another spoonful into her mouth.  
  
In fact he made her choke down three bowls before he tucked her back into bed. In truth she still wasn't feeling too great and could feel her consciousness slipping away.  
  
It was as Alucard was walking towards the door he heard Integra call him.  
  
"With any luck she's calmed down by now," he thought to himself, but knew too well otherwise. 


	2. 1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila, Floor

Chapter 2: 1 Tequila, 2 Tequila, 3 Tequila, Floor  
  
"Hello Master," Alucard said in his usual demeanor.  
  
"Sit!" commanded Integra not looking up from her paperwork.  
  
Alucard sat down opposite his master as she flipped through a huge binder. Two smaller binders were stacked off to her right. Their spines read "Property of County Orphanage" and "Property of County Sperm Bank".  
  
"I trust you had a dialogue with Seras," she said as she turned the page.  
  
"Yes," said Alucard, "but Police Girl probably won't remember anything. She could barely stand when I left."  
  
"And whose fault is that?!" accused Integra.  
  
"Her own," said Alucard, "I did warn her."  
  
"Knowing you, Alucard, it wasn't a warning, it was a threat."  
  
"What can I say? I learned from the best," said Alucard smugly.  
  
"I don't blame her for disobeying and I trust it won't happen in the future." said Integra icily.  
  
Alucard would have made another snide remark, but his train of thought was broken by knocking at the door.  
  
"Come in!" said Integra curtly as she slammed the binder in front of her shut.  
  
Walter walked in carrying a crystal tumbler filled with brandy and two matching glasses, "How goes the search?" he asked eyeing the binders.  
  
"Not well," grumbled Integra.  
  
"Hello, Walter," said Alucard with his usual grin from ear to ear.  
  
"Lord Alucard," groused Walter.  
  
Alucard chuckled as Walter sat the glasses on the desk and poured the brandy.  
  
"Will there be anything else this evening, Sir?" asked Walter.  
  
"No Walter, that will be all," said Integra.  
  
"Then just one final inquiry, Sir," said Walter replacing the stopper into the neck of the tumbler.  
  
"Yes, Walter what is it?" asked Integra rather wearily.  
  
"What is to be done with Miss Victoria's crustation (sp?) friend?"  
  
It was true, in Alucard's haste to return Victoria to her coffin he just scooped her up and went through a portal, completely for getting about the lobster that had attached itself to his fledgling. Walter had been able to remove it and bring it up to the kitchen.  
  
"Where is it now?" asked Integra.  
  
"On the kitchen table trying to take off our most recent recruit's fingers," said Walter.  
  
"Throw it in the freezer for tonight, steam it tomorrow and I'll have it for dinner-Dismissed."  
  
"Yes, Sir," Walter made a small bow and left closing the door behind him.  
  
"I though he'd never leave," said Alucard sarcastically as he leaned back in his chair and lengthening his legs, revealing a sizable package.  
  
"I'll thank you to cross your legs," said Integra taking off her glasses and rubbing her eyes.  
  
"As you wish, Master," said Alucard sporting his usual grin.  
  
She sighed at her servant's arrogance as she rose from her chair and picked up the brandy glasses. She handed one to Alucard.  
  
"What's the occasion?" he asked rather intrigued that his master would choose to drink with him.  
  
"To failed attempts and French water-" she said not particularly pleased.  
  
-------------  
  
Well the night wore on as generally all nights do, but this one in particular was different. Rather than stopping after the first glass of brandy they emptied the tumbler. The next morning when Walter went to wake his mistress, she was no where to be found in her room and when he went to check her office all he found was the empty tumbler and the two glasses on the floor.  
  
"She must have been summoned by the Queen," thought Walter as he straightened up, although it was odd she didn't leave a note. He had a sinking feeling, but put it aside and went about his daily routine.  
  
A half-hour after sundown Walter thought it best to rouse Alucard, considering his bad tendency of sleeping in.  
  
Walter walked into the darkened room with a blood packet in a silver bucket with ice. He set the bucket down on the table then turned on the light and rolled his eyes at the pile of clothes on the floor, "Really Lord Alucard at your age one would think you would be in the habit of picking up after yourself!"  
  
He hit the control to open the coffin.  
  
"What the?!" Walter bent to examine the pile of clothes, "Is that what I think it is?"-It looked like a pair of women's pink underwear.  
  
The lid stopped at the ceiling. Walter looked into the coffin and nearly had a heart attack-  
  
There draped over Alucard's chest was none other than Integra, both seemingly naked and only a thin, white, cotton blanket covered the tangled mass of limbs.  
  
"SIR?!" he shouted in sheer shock.  
  
"Wha-?" Integra came to slowly, "Ugh, Walter what time is it?"  
  
"I believe that's the least of your worries, Sir," said Walter still quite shaken.  
  
"Huh?" Integra looked down, "ALUCARD?!"  
  
The vampire's wine colored eyes shot open, "MASTER?!"  
  
Needless to say both parties were shocked.  
  
Integra wrapped the blanket around her torso, exposing Alucard's chest, "Are you wearing my BRA?!"  
  
"Why would I be-" Alucard stopped mid sentence and looked down at his chest, "I guess I am," he started to laugh at the sheer idiocy of the situation.  
  
"Well I'm glad you find this so amusing!" shouted Integra, then something dawned on her, "More importantly is Seras awake?"  
  
"Yes, she's upstairs attempting to teach Wedge how to fetch, Sir," said Walter.  
  
"Wedge?! Is that a new recruit?" asked Integra.  
  
"No, Sir, it's her lobster-the one you were going to have for dinner." (AN: Wedge- as in the sense of a lemon wedge considering lemons are squeezed on lobsters)  
  
"Well, make sure she's occupied until we're able to compose ourselves!"  
  
-------------  
  
1 Month Later-  
  
8:00 pm  
  
"DAMNIT, WALTER, JUST BRING ME A PAIR OF PANTS THAT FIT!" yelled Integra, but I figure you already got the yelling part.  
  
"Sir, are you sure you want to go on tonight's mission?-I mean you have been throwing up for the past to hours," said Walter respectfully.  
  
"Walter, I am not going to let a 24 hour flu get in the way of my job!" said Integra as she went to light a cigar.  
  
"Uh, Sir, I don't know if I would-" said Walter hesitantly.  
  
Integra froze with the flame of her lighter just millimeters from the tip of the cigar dangling from her lips.  
  
Click-she shut the lighter.  
  
"Just what are you getting at?" she asked in a dangerous tone.  
  
"Why don't we make a deal? While I go in search of some larger trousers, why don't you take this into the bathroom?" asked Walter holding out a white paper bag.  
  
"What is it?!" Integra accepted the bag and visibly paled when she opened it. "A pregnancy test?!" 


	3. Guess What

Chapter 3: Guess What  
  
When Walter returned with some "larger trousers" he found the door to the bathroom open and Integra leaning against the sink with her head in her hands. He set the pants at the foot of the bed and walked over to the threshold of the bathroom. That's when he saw the test in the garbage. It was at such an angle that he could see blue line fully exposed.  
  
"Shall I tell the captain to take the men and leave?" asked Walter.  
  
"Yes," sighed Integra without looking up.  
  
"And after that should I call for a doctor to come out?" Walter inquired.  
  
"I suppose," she said quietly.  
  
-------------  
  
Later that night after the men returned after the doctor left. It had been a successful mission and the new captain took his team out for drinks, while Seras took Wedge for a walk through the sprinkler system. Victoria thought it was best not to go with them, dawn was only a few hours away and she was pretty sure the bar they mentioned doubled as a strip joint.  
  
So while Seras donned full rain gear to take Wedge for a walk Integra was sitting in her office staring in disbelief at the test results the doctor left with her. At least with the test Walter gave her she could just say it was defective, but with the test results from her doctor she couldn't deny and the worst part was still yet to come-  
  
"Alucard, come!"  
  
"Hello, Master," said Alucard in his usual demeanor, "I missed you this evening. Where were you?"  
  
"Here, I had to catch up on paperwork."  
  
Alucard looked out from behind his orange tinted glasses with one eye, he knew she was lying.  
  
FWAP-Integra threw a rather weighty book down on the desk and slid it over to the vampire.  
  
"Here, read this-"  
  
"Parenting for Dummies?!" now Alucard was confused-His master was sending a lot of mixed signals, "Is this about Police Girl?"  
  
Integra sighed and put her head in her hands, "No, do you remember what happened last month?"  
  
"Remember?!" asked Alucard chuckling, "I won't be able to forget it for the rest of eternity!-Why?"  
  
"I'm pregnant"  
  
We (the royal we that is) now remove you from Integra's office, past the sprinkler system-all the way to the end of the drive way in fact. For the sake of your eardrums:  
  
"YOU'RE WHAT?!"  
  
(Back to Integra's office)  
  
Walter was on the scene by then with-you guessed it-Tea!  
  
Integra was attempting to keep her composure as she sat behind her desk, while Alucard was breathing into brown paper bag (AN: Technically being a vampire Alucard wouldn't be breathing into said bag, but I think it's just a funny image).  
  
"This is a disaster!" declared Integra, "The Hellsing heir can't be a monster!"  
  
"Well then maybe you shouldn't have slept with a monster!" said Alucard tossing the paper bag on to the desk.  
  
"You're not thinking of doing something drastic, are you Sir?," said Walter as he poured the tea.  
  
"Of course not!-What would my church think?" said Integra sharply, "Monster or not it's still a child!"  
  
"How many people know?" asked Alucard.  
  
"Just the three of us," said Inegra.  
  
"What are you going to tell the men when you start to show?" inquired Walter.  
  
"Artificial insemination," said Integra quickly.  
  
"And Miss Victoria?" asked Walter.  
  
-------------  
  
~5 Minutes Later~  
  
Victoria walked into Integra's office still wearing her bright yellow raincoat and caring Wedge attached to a leash under her arm.  
  
"You wanted to see me?" she asked sheepishly.  
  
"Yes, sit down," Integra motioned to the chair next to Alucard.  
  
"Alright," Seras obeyed.  
  
"I'm going to have a baby?" asked Integra.  
  
"Congratulations," said Seras without flinching.  
  
"The father is Alucard," said Integra in a monotone.  
  
THUD!  
  
Victoria fell out of her chair, "Excuse me-" 


	4. An Unlikely Partnership

Chapter 4: An Unlikely Partnership  
  
BANG!  
  
BANG!  
  
BANG!  
  
Gun shots cut through the silence like knives.  
  
THWAK!-Seras jolted awake and sat up too quickly nearly giving herself a concussion on the lid of the coffin.  
  
"Ow!" she mumbled rubbing her forehead and feeling around for the remote.  
  
Once she found it she pushed a button and waited until the lid had risen to the ceiling before she jumped out of bed and raced up to the main hall just in time to hear the following:  
  
"This is all your fault, ALUCARD!" screamed Integra from somewhere upstairs.  
  
BANG!  
  
BANG!  
  
"Sir, please put the gun down!" pleaded Walter.  
  
"That's right, blame everything on the monster," chided Alucard.  
  
BANG!  
  
SMASH!-whatever that was it sounded expensive.  
  
"Sir, I'm begging you-" Walter persisted.  
  
"Walter, move so I can get a clear shot!" yelled Integra.  
  
"Think of your blood pressure!" Walter tried again.  
  
"I will right after I-*HURK*"  
  
CLUNK!-The gun hit the floor.  
  
~  
  
Seras wandered closer to the staircase.  
  
"I wouldn't go up there, Miss Victoria." said the new captain, "There's a good chance it'll come to blows."  
  
"How long has it been going on?" asked Victoria.  
  
"About a half hour," he said lighting a cigarette.  
  
~  
  
Meanwhile the fight upstairs had moved to Integra's bedroom.  
  
"Absolutely not!" said Integra sternly.  
  
"I'm not suggesting you got to sleep for the rest of the night," said Walter defensively, "I'll come wake you in an hour."  
  
"Walter, I have a mountain of paperwork sitting on my desk-it isn't going to do itself!" she argued.  
  
"I'm sure your superiors and the queen will understand if the paperwork is an hour or two late given the circumstances." Walter ventured, "The queen especially-how long has she been waiting for a Hellsing heir?"  
  
"I'd say at least ten years," said Alucard joining the conversation for the sole purpose annoying his master.  
  
"So, now the two of you are ganging up on me?!-Oh, this is rich! Since when have the two of you ever gotten along?!" yelled Integra.  
  
"Who said we were 'getting along'?" asked Alucard.  
  
"We've only come to a gentlemen's agreement." Walter explained.  
  
"A 'gentlemen's agreement' with a monster? On what grounds?!" demanded Integra.  
  
"The next Hellsing generation," said Alucard grinning enough to display his fangs.  
  
"Ugh, I need a cigar," groaned Integra.  
  
"NO!" shouted both men at the same time.  
  
There was a brief silence.  
  
Integra sighed, "Fine-but only an hour! Walter brief the men on their mission later tonight-Alucard go make sure Victoria is awake."  
  
The men exchanged glances, but left the room in the end.  
  
~  
  
Victoria had retreated to the safety of her room when it sounded like the fight was going to continue for awhile longer.  
  
By the time Alucard had gotten down there his fledgling was sitting on the bed with Wedge wrapped in a damp towel and cradled in her arm while she read him a story.  
  
Alucard was able to sit down in one of the chairs at the table and watch this seemingly ridiculous scene from a front row seat.  
  
"And they all lived happily ever-MASTER?!" Seras had just barely caught Alucard's red coat out of the corner of her eye.  
  
"You know according to this book," Alucard began by placing Parenting for Dummies on the table, "you're codling him."  
  
"Well, if I don't certainly no one around here will," Seras shot back as she put the book down and put Wedge into his tank.  
  
That's when Victoria noticed the bowl of blood on the table and the spoon sitting next to it (but it's not silver-thanks for the insight Female Heero Yuy. I've only seen parts of the series, am planning to order it!)  
  
"Time to eat, Police Girl," said Alucard picking up the book and flipping to a page.  
  
Victoria sighed, she knew better than to fight with her master over food related issues ever since he force fed her on that fateful nigh when Wedge came into her life.  
  
She sat down at the table across from Alucard and just stared at the bowl.  
  
Before she knew it a good 5 minutes had gone by.  
  
"You're just going to sit there and read until I eat?!" asked Victoria a little flustered.  
  
"That's pretty much the plan," said Alucard smugly without looking up from his book. 


	5. HRH

Chapter 5: HRH  
  
(AN: HRH=Her Royal Highness)  
  
Well as you probably guessed Walter just let Integra sleep through the rest of the night. Prepare for the fight scene!  
  
A small ray of light slipped through a gap in the curtains.  
  
Integra's forehead creased and she rolled over, slowly coming back to consciousness.  
  
"MMMmmhhhhh-" she squinted into the light, "Walter?-Walter, where are you?"  
  
That's when she saw the clock on her nightstand. At first she wasn't sure she read it correctly reaching for her glasses she put them on. The clock read: 8:00 am.  
  
"WALTER!" yelled Integra at the top of her lungs.  
  
"Yes, Sir?" asked Walter a little meekly as he came in with a breakfast tray.  
  
"You were supposed to wake me after an hour!" shouted Integra, "It's 8 in the MORNING!!-On a normal day you wake me promptly at SIX!"  
  
Walter sighed as he put the tray down. This was not going to be a fun nine months.  
  
"Where are the men?! How did the mission go?! Do you have any idea how difficult it's going to be for me to finish both today's and yesterday's paperwork to accompany the men tonight-" she went off in a rant.  
  
"You're not seriously considering going on the mission tonight?!" Walter cut.  
  
"Don't be absurd!-Of course I am!" Integra snapped.  
  
"You have a child to think of now, you can't just throw yourself headlong into danger any more!" scolded Walter, "Are you telling me you have concern for this child what so ever?!"  
  
"No," said Integra simply, "Not only is this child a Hellsing, it has Alucard and myself as parents. The way I see it this child is indestructible."  
  
"Promise me," said Walter with concern in his eyes, "when you start to show you won't go on anymore missions, until after the baby is born!"  
  
Integra knew she wasn't going to get out of this one, "Alright," she agreed reluctantly.  
  
-------------  
  
The weeks passed all too quickly for Integra and before she knew it she was 5 mo. in, but don't think that much changed. No matter what Alucard still made it a point to go up and harass his master daily or in this case nightly.  
  
"Good evening, Master," said Alucard as he walked through the wall.  
  
"What do you want?" asked Integra without looking up from her paperwork.  
  
"I just wanted to see how you were?" said Alucard coyly.  
  
Integra glared at him.  
  
"What?" asked Alucard trying to look innocent.  
  
"This wouldn't have anything to do with the doctor's appointment I had today, would it?" asked Integra narrowing her eyes.  
  
"You had a doctor's appointment?" asked Alucard pretending he didn't know that she had an ultrasound done.  
  
Integra rolled her eyes, "You're wasting your time, Alucard. I don't know what it is."  
  
"Do you have a preference?" asked Alucard.  
  
"What kind of a question is that?!" asked Integra standing up so quickly the bulge in her stomach knocked over her tea cup-  
  
Clink!  
  
"I was just wondering if you wanted a boy or a girl?" said Alucard grinning.  
  
"All I want is an heir for the Hellsing family that's it," said Integra putting her foot down.  
  
Alucard looked at her with one eye from behind his sunglasses.  
  
"A boy," she mumbled picking her foot right back up.  
  
"Well, in that case I want a girl," said Alucard smugly.  
  
"Ugh, I don't have time for this," sighed Integra.  
  
"It's late," said the vampire.  
  
"So?" asked Integra.  
  
"Aren't you going to head off to bed?" asked Alucard.  
  
"No, I still have a lot a work left and now thanks to you I have to clean up this mess," said Integra looking a the tea.  
  
"Why not just call Walter to clean up the mess and your new Captain to finish the work for you?" asked Alucard.  
  
"Because they're both most likely asleep!" said Integra matter o' factly.  
  
"The last time I checked Walter, your new captain, Police Girl and that ridiculous little creature she carries around were in the middle of a lightning round of poker." said Alucard.  
  
"Don't tell me," said Integra sarcastically, "the lobster is wining."  
  
"As far as I could tell," said Alucard grinning.  
  
It didn't take much more coaxing before Alucard had gotten Integra to go to bed.  
  
-------------  
  
The next morning or afternoon rather Integra woke up slowly. Sunlight was streaming into her face, she groggily felt around for her glasses, put them on and glanced at the clock on her nightstand.  
  
"NOON!" she yelped.  
  
"We are happy to see you have finally chosen to woke up," came a voice from a different part of the room.  
  
Integra looked over toward her breakfast table and much to her horror she saw, "Your Majesty!"  
  
She leapt out of bed, in her pajamas, "My deepest apologies, I-"  
  
The queen held up her hand, "We (the royal 'we') came here for one reason- to see if some seemingly malicious gossip held any merit and we are pleasantly surprised to find that it is true." said the Monarch looking at Integra's swollen midsection. 


	6. Interior Design

Chapter 6: Interior Design  
  
Integra walked into her office at ten the next morning to find to large binders sitting on her desk.  
  
"Walter, what are these?" she questioned the Angel of Death as he brought her tea in.  
  
"One is filled with wallpaper patterns and the other with cloth samples that come in the widest rage of colors I've ever seen," commented the butler as he placed the tea service on her desk.  
  
Integra glared at the binders with distaste, as thought they were the undergarments of Enrico Maxwell, "Why are they here? I didn't send for them."  
  
"No, you didn't," said Walter, "Her Majesty sent them over this morning with her gold card. She insists that she pay for the nursery and set up a trust fund."  
  
Needless to say Integra was quite taken aback, "That's very generous of her majesty, but why so much?"  
  
"She also sent over a note to remind you how long she and the other knights have been waiting for a Hellsing heir." said Walter removing a small white envelope, bearing the royal seal, from his pocket and placing it on the desk.  
  
"Since I came of age I'd imagine," said Integra dryly as she sat down behind her desk.  
  
"Quite," said Walter as Integra pulled a stack of papers in front of her and shoved the binders off to the side, "Will there be anything else?"  
  
"Yes, tell Alucard to bring Seras Victoria to my office when she wakes up," said Integra, "I have neither the time of the energy to deal with redecorating."  
  
"Very good, Sir," said Walter as he gave a slight bow, then left.  
  
------------  
  
Seras woke up later, in the evening, and much to her disdain she found Alucard waiting for her at the table.  
  
She rolled her eyes; didn't her master have better things to do with his night?!  
  
Alucard chuckled at her annoyance.  
  
After Seras finished she was about to go over to Wedge's tank when Alucard grabbed her arm and led her up to Integra's office.  
  
"But Master, what about-" Seras protested.  
  
"That ridiculous creature in your room," Alucard cut her off, "one of the soldiers will handle it."  
  
-------------  
  
Integra's Office 5 Minutes Later-  
  
"Excuse me-" Victoria was in shock, "You want me to do what?!"  
  
"Design the nursery." Integra stated.  
  
"Is there a problem, Police Girl?" asked Alucard.  
  
"I don't know anything about designing a nursery!" yelped Seras.  
  
"What could you possibly need to know?" her master pressed.  
  
"How about what it is!" exclaimed Seras.  
  
"I don't know what it is," said Integra pushing the binder of wall paper patterns and the binder of cloth samples across the desk.  
  
"What's my base color if I can't use pink or blue?!" asked Seras.  
  
"I'm sure you'll figure something out," assured Integra.  
  
Victoria reluctantly lifted the catalogue, "Anyone have a problem with black and red?"  
  
(How ironically appropriate-sigh-) 


	7. Culadar

Chapter 7: Culadar  
  
Well in the months to come Integra's troops found themselves swamped with missions. It seemed every time they turned around there was another report of a vampiric disturbance.  
  
In the beginning Victoria didn't mind so much, if anything it got her away from wallpaper and carpeting samples. The quality time on the shooting range just wasn't doing it for her like it used to.  
  
And it's not like Wedge was taking up that much of her time anymore. The troops had adopted him as somewhat of an unofficial mascot. His tank had even moved to their barracks.  
  
-------------  
  
Victoria had just completed the nursery and was on her way to see Wedge when Walter stopped her in the hall, "Integra has requested to see you in her office."  
  
"Um, alright," said Victoria as she turned back down the hall.  
  
By the time she arrived Alucard and Walter were already there.  
  
It was a seemingly simple mission-just an average run of the mill search and destroy-  
  
"Dismissed!" said Integra a little winded.  
  
Alucard and Seras looked at each other.  
  
"Are you alright?" asked Seras.  
  
"I'm fine," Integra assured her.  
  
Despite their better judgment the vampires left closing the door behind them.  
  
Once Integra heard the trucks pull out of the driveway she turned to Walter, "Call the doctor. My water just broke."  
  
------------  
  
It was a horrific battle that raged on for 5 hours.  
  
Alucard handled the vampire end of the fight, while Seras and the troops took out the zombies. It all went down hill when Father Anderson showed up.  
  
Seras was just barely able to hold her own and defend her captain against the zombies and remaining vampires, when Alucard turned to face Father Anderson.  
  
By the time they returned home dawn was rapidly approaching.  
  
"Since when do we hold post mission parties?" asked one of the troops when he saw three strange cars in the driveway.  
  
"I don't know," said the captain, "but I'm too damn tired to care-Everyone, back to the barracks!"  
  
While all the men headed back for the night, Alucard and Seras headed into the main hall. Before the two were aware of all that had taken place while they were out, two soldiers had grabbed Alucard by the arms.  
  
"What is the meaning of this?!" he protested.  
  
Just then an ear piercing scream penetrated the stonewalls of the manor.  
  
Seras jumped, "W-What was that?!"  
  
"Release me," said Alucard in a dangerous tone.  
  
"Integra's orders," said Walter coming down the stairwell, "I'm to lock you in the dungeon-until the baby is born."  
  
"And then what?!" asked Alucard, "You release me?!-Walter, Answer me!"  
  
Walter stayed silent as the soldiers dragged the vampire down into the bowels of the basement.  
  
CLANG!-The cell door slammed shut.  
  
"You are going to let him out, aren't you?" asked Seras.  
  
Walter turned and looked at her, "You should go to bed, Miss Victoria. It will be dawn soon."  
  
-------------  
  
Alucard lay down in the cell pulling his hat over his face. He could hear Integra screaming from time to time-mostly obscenities about him.  
  
Just as he was falling asleep he heard crying.  
  
-------------  
  
The No Life King received a rude awakening the next evening  
  
Pounce!  
  
"Oof!-Police Girl?!-How did you get in here?" asked Alucard in surprise.  
  
"Walter, gave me the keys," said Seras.  
  
"Walter?!" Alcuard was a little surprised.  
  
"He said something about this ending a gentlemen's agreement and he's coming after you if he gets fired for this."  
  
Alucard chuckled as he set Victoria on her feet and disappeared into the wall.  
  
--------------  
  
He reappeared in his Master's room where he found her cradling a small bundle of blankets, in vain. She was attempting to calm a very agitated infant.  
  
"I swear you're as stubborn as your father," Intergra laughed slightly as she nuzzled her, still wailing, newborn.  
  
"And here I thought it came from his mother," Alucard interjected as he crossed over to the bed.  
  
"I'm not stubborn, I'm just always right," countered Integra, while she passed the baby to Alucard.  
  
"Of course you are, master," the baby laughed as Alucard gingerly lifted the bundle of blankets, "What's _her _name?"  
  
"_His _name," Integra corrected," is Culadar and you're the first one who's been able to make him laugh."  
  
There came a knock at the door.  
  
"Come in," Integra called.  
  
The door opened and Walter walked in fallowed by Seras, who was holding a breakfast tray.  
  
"I thought a 'family dinner' or 'breakfast', as the case may be, was in order," the Angel of Death smiled wirily as he relieved Seras of the breakfast tray.  
  
Seras wandered over to her master's side, while Walter poured both tea and blood, and couldn't help but gasp when she saw the baby.  
  
Alucard studied the tiny bundle in his arms and couldn't help but to grin widely, exposing his fangs, when he noticed a small pair of wine colored eyes staring back at him.  
  
"Have any trouble explaining his eyes?" asked the No Life King, still looking at the infant.  
  
"No," said Interga simply, "fortunately he received the Hellsing blonde hair, the doctor just assumed he was albino."  
  
"Modern medicine," scoffed Alucard.  
  
"Indeed," said Walter indignantly.  
  
"However-Her Majesty knew exactly where the red eyes came from," explained Integra.  
  
Alucard just chuckled, "She always was perceptive."  
  
"What did she say?" Seras asked nervously.  
  
Integra smirked as Walter handed her a cup of tea, "She sighed and smiled then said, 'Well, Sir Hellsing, you had certainly shown us there is more than one way to an heir.'"  
  
FIN

There finished by multiple requests. I know it's doesn't follow with the natural laws of the Hellsing series and there are alot of typos, but it was a first shot in this genre. And with any luck, if I can get off my butt I'll follow up with More Than One Way to an Heir 2, that follows the plot line of the series better.


End file.
